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Book of Law

My book of Law- What are all the agreements I have made in my life? Questions to ask myself during this: What is "good or bad" "Right or wrong" about these areas of my life Personal Agreements: My body and myself Personal Appearance: Good- I like the way I dress and present myself most of the time Bad- I feel bad about my weight and my acne Health and Diet: Good- I feel good in that I know I am making some attempts at regaining my health Bad- I get down on myself when I feel pain, or I feel like I've eaten poorly Masculinity and Femininity: Masculine good: I feel confident that I can stand up for myself Masculine bad: I do not like when I have internalized mysogyny Feminine Good: I enjoy being a creative nurturer Feminine bad: I do not like to be thought of as feminine most of the time. I feel like it puts me into a position of weakness Social Agreements: Family and Friends Love and Sex: What is good about love? That it is warm and available.
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Four Agreements: Domestication Part 2

1) Describe your image of perfection. What would you look like? What type of personality would you have? My image of perfection is someone who looks good in both the "art teacher" style and dressed up. 20 lbs lighter. No more acne, a little bit of muscle, and I know how to do my hair and makeup. Personality wise? I'd like to be less anxious. But other than that, I think my personality is pretty nice. My anxiety gets me into trouble a lot. 2) What would I have to change about myself to live up to this image? Honestly, not much. I am getting better about taking care of myself and I am trying each day to recover physically. I know I can do a better job of turning to proteins, fruits and veggies instead of carbs. Also, I am trying to treat my skin a little bit better than before, but lately I've been falling asleep with my makeup on. I think getting back into the habit of taking off my makeup and showering when I get home will go a long way. Also, personality wise, I
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Four Agreements: Domestication

Last year I read (Twice!) The Four Agreements, and it made such an impression on me. I have the companion book to it, malingering on my "currently reading" shelf. The reason? I quickly realized the book is askign me to do exercises that my poor hands, full of pens and needles these days, just seemed too tired to actually write it down in a physical journal. I thought about typing up things in my phone (too cumbersome) and then I remembered I started up this skeleton thing again. Hopefully this will help me go through this book this year. I dont want to waste my time or energy on fanfaire or introduction to the work I'm going to do in this book. Either I will remember it or I wont. Image of self-> The Ideal Self. The Ideal Self does not equal: REALITY. "You need a mirror in the world to see yourself, but there isnt a clear mirror to tell you what you are. So you agree with the image that others create for you, but you are not that image... Where is the real you?
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EDCs, Microplastics, Food and Socialism

Its been a very, very long time since I have felt the need to (wanted) to blog. The years have taught me to be a private person. But today I woke up and decided I wanted to write things out. Last night, Ben and I were watching some youtube documentaries about fast fashion and where everything ends up in Ghana. For some reason, this feels a lot like "the last straw" for me. My degree has already taught me so much about human impact. These past few years I've been learning more than ever about microplastics, endocrine disrupting chemicals (especially obesegens!) and the impact of GHGs on our planet. Tiktok, and the generous creaters on there, has also expanded my perspective, by sharing things about large corporations and food systems.... all these things I cant ignore. I feel in a sense that I'm going down a hole of irrationality. I know I live (and participate) in a capitalist culture. This means I dont have the time do do all the things that I think would be ap
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