EDCs, Microplastics, Food and Socialism

Its been a very, very long time since I have felt the need to (wanted) to blog. The years have taught me to be a private person. But today I woke up and decided I wanted to write things out. Last night, Ben and I were watching some youtube documentaries about fast fashion and where everything ends up in Ghana. For some reason, this feels a lot like "the last straw" for me. My degree has already taught me so much about human impact. These past few years I've been learning more than ever about microplastics, endocrine disrupting chemicals (especially obesegens!) and the impact of GHGs on our planet. Tiktok, and the generous creaters on there, has also expanded my perspective, by sharing things about large corporations and food systems.... all these things I cant ignore. I feel in a sense that I'm going down a hole of irrationality. I know I live (and participate) in a capitalist culture. This means I dont have the time do do all the things that I think would be appropriate action, such as taking public transport, growing/foraging my own food, making all my meals from scratch, and making clothes for myself/my family. I wish I could do all of those things. I wish I had the time. I don't however. I dont even have the time for this blog. I'm actively procrastinating right now. But I'm determined to try and deconstruct in the ways I am capable of. I can make *some* of my own clothes. The rest, I can purchase second hand. When I purchase second hand, I can (and do!) make sure the cloth I'm buying is made of natural fibers instead od synthetic. I have begun refusing fast fashion years ago, but until I met Ben, and observed his preference for natural fibers, I didnt consider making a change over. I have since learned much more devistating news about synthetic fibers and their impact. Last year I strove to only purchase natural cloth materials, and after some deliberation, gave away and donated most of my acrylic yarns. And food... There have been more and more reports of microplastics in food and water. Mold in factories that make bread and pastas. Hideous conditions in meat processing plants. It's nearly enough to bother me to death. There are a lot of things that are common knowledge, but the things I have learned recently are beyond what I think everyone knows. Toxic amounts of Lead and Cadmium in chocolate (all chocolate brands) for example. These things have pushed me over the brink. For the love of money, we (citizens? Innocents? Proletariats?) are being fed sick, old, nasty garbage full of EDCs and plastics and rotten mold. I know by nature I'm not capable of escaping this. Microplastics are at the bottom of the marianas trench. They are in the air. EDCs are everywhere, and I must be productive and cannot garden to eat. But I determined to try to eat less processed foods. To make my own bread. To buy things with as little interference as possible. The result is that my meals are simpler than before. I have my chocolate in edible form (less than 1 oz) when I do partake. It's only been about a month, but I've lost 3lbs with only these changes. My energy is better and my skin is clearer. I dont know what the point of this blog will be. I dont have a specific goal or aim. Sometimes I just need to write things out. I'm tired of screaming into the wind. I dont know what type of person this type of thinking will make me. Or, where I will be in December of this year. It's enough for now.